Going through a break-up is hard but that doesn’t mean life
should equally end because of it. Most things are detrimental to the action you
take when you are heartbroken. Here are the things you shouldn’t do when this
happens to avoid further damage.
Raise your standards higher. No, taking it a notch
higher just to avoid getting the same person you felt you wasted your time with
and eventually got your heart broken isn’t the remedy to getting a better
person. So please take it all the way back down.
Change appearance. Changing the style or color of
your hair from what it used to be ─ just because he or she liked the way you
normally packed it up or let it down or the way it smelt or the texture you
used to have ─ won’t attract a better partner. Neither is changing the serious
up-do to a more girly and playful one or casual jeans and tee. If you must, do
it for you and not with a motive of revenge or pain.
Avoid mutual places. The truth is, whether or
not you do, sooner or later you will bump into him/her at places you didn’t
even expect you would. Maybe while at a new gym or a new restaurant. Besides
you don’t want the show of weakness to come from your own end. If both of you
used to attend stage plays together then by all means continue even if on a
solo train.
Stay away from mutual friends. You only end up giving
them the impression that the break-up hurts you and you don’t want that. They
are like the intermediaries now and everything that happens to you is being
reported to the other when they hang out. So when they ask to hang out, don’t
turn them down or avoid them. Seize the opportunity to show them that you are
great.
Generalize. All men are dogs, all women
cheats. No! There is a man/woman out there for you; simply because one
messed up doesn’t mean they all will. Always see your past relationships as a
course and a lesson to be learnt for you to be a better person in a
relationship until you graduate and are ready for that life partner.
Reflect/Reverie. Thinking about what you should have
done better or how good times were will not help you heal or even move on and
neither will it make anything better. Just pick your mistakes like the previous
point above and work on it.
Blame yourself. No, it wasn’t your fault, things just
happened. Most of them are inevitable. If it wasn’t working, it wasn’t going to
eventually. It was only prolonged because one of you refused to admit it for
the fear of being alone.
Slack at work. Work doesn’t have to suffer because
you went through a break-up: your boss doesn’t exactly care that that part of
your life exists. Of course, the occasional jokes persist but the moment you
give work a back seat because of that, it is the end of your stay in that
office. So buckle up!
Pause mutual dreams. So you both had mutual dreams
you were pursuing with the hope you both will end up spending the rest of your
lives together but that unfortunately didn’t happen. Who says you have to end
it? It is mutual, meaning two dreams put together to become one. So just pick
your half and put it into action. No event as mere as a break-up should stop
that. It is going to be hard ─ knowing it was a dual ambition but focus and the
strength of two will be active in you.
Expect too much. So you’re heart-broken, you grab
your gear, strap up tight in firm protection of your heart so as not to fall
prey to a potential heartbreaker, while you grab your binoculars in search of
only that perfect person. It is not going to work. Expecting to meet a perfect
person only exists in your fantasy as perfect people do not exist.
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