For some ladies who look to foray
into the dating world, asking out their male counterparts comes as outright
weird and is tantamount to them being overly desperate for companionship.
Others similarly think the move
as irrationally overstepping gender pacts that put masculinity in the position
to initiate relationships and would rather resort to non-verbal cues that
eventually may not nudge guys into making the desired move.
But is this long-standing norm
right? Should ladies always have to feign disinterest, play the evasive game
and stick around waiting for life to happen to them as against looking out for
Mr. Right and attempting to spark up a relationship?
Here are seven reasons why ladies
should start asking their love interest (male) out.
The quest for Mr. Right
Too many women are hesitant to
ask guys on dates and would hardly give the slightest inkling of their interest
in their male counterparts, even when they’re ideally pining for such
relationships on the inside.
As a woman, making the first move
—
beyond being a reference point as the relationship progresses —
might prove to be the best bet at finding the man of your choice. It’s just a date, right? If you know what you want, why not go
get it?
Men love assertiveness
It can’t be more discouraging for
men if they have to put lots of effort into chasing down an evasive crush and
get the impression that such is not being reciprocated. Plus, most guys would
undoubtedly love having it the other way round.
Women, who have been bold enough
to ask, have severally reported that the move didn’t really intimidate them as
many expected. It only tells that the lady the question means serious business
and men such assertiveness.
You have a say
Strong women are already out
there breaking the stereotypes, moving the frontiers of feminism forward, and
overturning cultural vestiges that still uphold that practice of suppressing
the female voice. Many others have taken even more daunting strides.
Unlike when ladies were taught to
be mellow and forced under strict gender roles long before marriage,
contemporaries have learned to exercise a degree of control over what comes
their way and what doesn’t. Why should dating be any exception?
He might be too shy
Aside from the fact that it could
get pretty exhausting to always be expected to make the first move, your ideal
man, who might share the same feelings as you, could be too shy to speak up
because men are just as afraid of rejection as women are.
Worse is when the man you have a
thing for happens to be an introvert. He might not have the guts to ask you out
for fear of being ridiculed. Putting them out of their misery by popping the
question might be the only way out. He’ll, no doubt, be flattered.
He’s unaware you’re crushing on him
With the disproportionate sex
distribution in many societies today and so much distraction in the dating
world that makes finding the right man somewhat difficult, chances that you’ll
get noticed just by sitting on the sidelines are pretty much bleak.
It doesn’t help that most guys
are terrible at picking subtle cues — something that could defy even the
dexterity of a virtuoso flirt. Making the move comes with its own fulfillment.
What’s the worst that could happen?
You’ll learn to handle rejection
Ditching the awkward silence and
accosting a guy to ask them out instead of having to watch your ideal man latch
onto another lady could come with a soothing effect on your ego and help you
get out of your own head.
But it’s not all bad news when
you find that he doesn’t share the same feelings or that he’s into another
lady. No one likes being rejected. Yes. But you get to learn to handle it and
avoid living with the regret of not having tried in such cases.
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