In an emotional interview with
Kemi Adetiba for "King Women", Chioma Omeruah aka Chigul shared the
never before heard story of her life. The Comedienne revealed that her marriage
crashed just after one year even though she married as a virgin, her marital
issues, discovering her husband had a love child and her initial strained
relationship with her mother. Read some excerpts after the cut..
"When my marriage fell
apart, I felt like I failed at something and I had nowhere to learn. It fell
apart and I didn't want it to fall apart. I felt like I disappointed my dad
because we talked about it before he died. I felt like when I needed people for
me then, no one was. No one was there and I wanted people to be there, I wanted
to be able to go to my mum and cry and say I'm tired. Then she'll just always
say, go back to your husband.
"The worst was when I
discovered that my husband had a child with someone else. This was a year into
my separation. When I found out my mum had heard, I was like, I'm done with
everyone. Don't talk to me.
"But I later thought about
it. How was she supposed to tell me? I knew it affected her, I knew the way my
life was going affected her. The worst thing for me is not being in a
relationship, I wanted to give her grandchildren, I wanted us to bond over
those things and my success with my life, career is great., it's wonderful, I
thank God for it every day but I want other things too. I want to talk to her
about how children misbehave and she can now say.....
"I met my husband in 2007.
His uncles were my father's people. We were friends as teenagers and in
secondary school. When I came back from America, we started talking. After about
a year courtship, we decided to get married. He proposed and I said yes. We
were not perfect, they were good days, very happy times. It just got to a place
where he didn't care anymore, I didn't care anymore. We both didn't care. It
took me a long place where we decided we need to divorce. We were separated for
so long but in that time, I still wanted to see that maybe somewhere in the
back of my mind we didn't try had enough, maybe we could, but he wasn't
interested anymore. And when we started discussing divorce, we became more
cordial. I didn’t want to end things really badly anyway, I would rather we
stay cordial because we had to see, we are related to people who are in our
lives all the time and till this very day his cousins, uncles are still calling
me the wife. It just sort of fizzled and I can't tell you when or how.
"I had been made to believe
that it was my job to keep that afloat and the fact that it sank, I felt I
failed at this. It fell apart and then I find out about the child. I got upset
because we were still officially married but then, emotionally, he had left the
building, because he was with someone else.
"We were married for about a
year, I lived in Abuja, he lived in Lagos so I came to Lagos every weekend.
When people say oh maybe it’s because you guys did not live together, I say
well there are people who did long distance for years. I don't think it was a
cause, I think it was a factor. But you see, before I moved to Abuja, the
discussion was to come to Abuja. That was the plan. But he decided against it
later. I had a good Job and I wasn't going to leave it. What were we going to
do financially? I didn't just decide to go to Abuja as people will think. That
isn't what just happened. He just decided not to come. I decided to make it
work, coming to Lagos every weekend for about a year. No disrespect to him
because we all had our issues, so distance was a small factor. I am the cover
up queen. I would never want anyone to see that things are not working. He's
not as outgoing as I am, he's colder and I think people noticed that. He has a habit;
he could not be in communication with anyone for a long time and literally
wouldn't talk for months to anyone in the family. His family can tell you
that.
"That was his way and I
discovered that it would be a worse off crime if I did not live my life to the
fullest, because I was depressed, I went through depression. My friends in
Abuja had a small intervention. I was literally broken inside.
My marriage just fizzled. He
didn't want to talk to me, would not talk to me. I would reach out, apologize,
send texts; he would not speak to me.
"There are also things I did
that were wrong. One particular incident, I sold the wedding rings. Yes, I did.
Ask me why? You see in Nigeria, that's the end of the story, you deserve to be
hung, whatever. In my mind, my rings were a symbol of something that did not
exist. It was a circle I was wearing in my finger. Did I have a husband? No. He
was absent.
"I'm happy it happened at
one year, with no children, no attachments. That's not how I want to bring up
children (referring to custody arrangements). I want it to be um a house with
Mummy and Daddy. I married at 33 and was a virgin. That was my first ever
anything and it was supposed to be special, it was supposed to last.
Watch video here:
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I am sure the mother of his child wasnt a virgin when he met her....somthing drew him to her....its good to keep ur body but learn how to please him in bed...discuss wt your friend who have done.sometimes these ashaeos na them dey catch betyer man.Its well sister,God is alive
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