Crystal Palace forward Connor Wickham has stated his desire to win the FA Cup to appreciate his father for his upbringing.
“He is my No 1 critic and also my biggest fan,” Wickham says. “Apart from my managers, I will never listen to an opinion as much as I do my dad’s. He will be honest. He’ll tell me if I had a crap game and if I have a good game he will be there and give me a hug. I can never repay him for what he has done for me.”
Stefan Wickham was a sergeant major in the British Army for 24 years before retiring three years ago having served in Iraq and has clearly instilled in his son his sense of discipline and determination to make the most of his abilities. Connor, 23, is not as naturally skilfull as, for example, the Palace winger Yannick Bolasie but his drive has ensured they will be sharing a goal at Wembley.
“My dad is very punctual, always looks smart, never misses an appointment. And now I’m always on time,” Wickham says. “He had that mentality that was drilled into me. I’m very determined. He always made sure I had the best boots, kit, always made sure I got to games and training. He didn’t let me go out until I was 17, 18. My upbringing has been very good. He tells me right from wrong, he’s one of the most honest men you’ll ever meet. Some of that has rubbed off on me. Sometimes it’s annoying, sometimes it’s good. But I owe a lot of credit to him for my career.”
Wickham had a nomadic childhood but he knew no different, the challenge was when his father was away. “Growing up we moved around a lot,” he says. “Hereford, Colchester, Darlington…I grew up on army estates in army houses in army schools with army friends and families. I knew how hard it was on families. My dad served in Iraq twice when I was still in school. I was maybe 8 and 14. It was hard on us when you don’t get a phone call for a few days. It’s a worrying time. My dad has lost a few friends in the wars.”
There was never any desire in Wickham to serve himself. “I would not want to do it to my family,” he says. “It takes something incredible within yourself to go to war, to go on the front line carrying a gun and being in the shooting line, trying to make this a safer country for us. I would not say I haven’t got the heart to do it but I think it takes something deep inside you to put yourself on the line in that way.”
Instead, Wickham does charity work for Help for Heroes and is delighted to give something back. “I am not going there blind and supporting it as an outsider,” he says. “I don’t think you know what goes on behind the scenes as a soldier unless you have been involved in it. I was, in a way, lucky enough to have grown up in it and it has made me the man I am today.”
It would be wrong, though, to assume Stefan is all stiff-upper lip when he’s watching his son. “Ask all my friends who sit next to him and they are in hysterics,” Wickham says. “He doesn't talk to them, he just watches the game and he’s just got his blinkers on and thinks he’s the only one in the stadium. He’s so passionate. He has not missed a game throughout my career, apart from when he was in Iraq and even then he managed to stream them.”
The only things streaming at Wembley, when Wickham headed in the second goal in the semi-final, were his dad’s eyes. “I think at Wembley, he nearly cried. He won’t admit it, but I think he probably did.”
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