In another controversial issue that has heated social media of late. Leadership speaker and Senior Pastor of Daystar Christian Centre, Pastor Sam Adeyemi, while preaching on “Prepaper for the wedding”, on Sunday, March 16th, shared his opinion about women proposing to their men.
He said. “Some people may ask, Pastor is it okay for it to be the lady that will tell the guy about marriage? Well, is there anywhere in the bible that says a lady can’t tell a man? The thing though is, a lot of time, it’s better for the guy to pop the question because men become suspicious a lot of time when they are being chased.
They like to eat meat that they chased in the bush. They don’t like the one that falls on their lap dead. However., sometimes, all the signs are there that she is the one but he is not just speaking. Its also not healthy for the lady emotionally for the man to be so close to her and yet not say anything. So in such a case, a lady needs to prod him.
So how can a lady go about it? Ask him where are we going? I sense this is where the relationship is going, what do you think? Its either a yes or a no, but with that, you know where you are going instead of being on an emotional roller coaster and your heart is smashed into pieces at the end of the day”.
Pastor Sam supported his position with the story of Ruth in the Bible who was taught to propose to Boaz whom she eventually married according to Ruth Chapter 3 in the Bible. He however emphasized the need for women to apply uttermost wisdom before attempting it.
The question now is, no matter how suttle it is done, can a relationship survive it? Will a man be turned on or off by such a question? If you were proposed to by your woman will you say ‘yes’?
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I agree with your point Pastor, it reminds me about a guy i met sometimes ago, and we became friend, i was senses something with our closeness, but this guy refused to say anything, he was holding back because of one tall lady he was admiring then and is like he want to change his mind towards me and our communication started reducing he was beating about the bush not until one day i asked him what is in your mind and he said like what? knowing where i was going, he kept on avoiding my question and as for me i don't want any man to waste my time so that i will know exactly where i'm going just in case if i come across someone else he will not be obstacle to me or be angry that can't i see the writing on the wall? but he refused to speak, he is like a man going to some a lady's house to pound pounded yam always but, refused to tell the lady his purpose of coming to her house to pound yam, and at the end of the day another fast forward man came and asked the lady's hand in marriage and the man that use to come and pound yam was disappointed and the lady said oh i did not know you are coming here because of me, why don't you speak? so back to my story and the other lady this guy was now eying got pregnant for another man entirely and this guy was shocked and he now want to come back to his normal way with me but it was too late because i'm already in a relationship with a very handsome guy who is crazy about m+e and introduce me to his family and my family and made them to know his mission towards me but this other guy kept on disturbing me, telling me did i pray did i do this or that? but it was too late because had i know is a brother to "Mr. Late". Is like some guy doesn't really know what they want? they look at the outward appearance instead of inwardly
ReplyDeleteOf course my opinion is similar to the man of God.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong in the lady proposing provided it's done with wisdom.
I'm aware it's not common practice in our part of the world but with understanding, love and commitment it won't arouse any doubt or suspicion.
What Pastor has said is just plainly true. He even supported it with Scripture and also gave warning to doing this if some needed to. Having heart break because of assumed relationship is not worth it on both side; better to know the destination before it's too late. Thanks Pastor Sam for Sharing.
ReplyDeleteCome on even if the man of God did not say this, is it not happening? why make it sound controversial? there is no controversy here, right from when i understand life in the late 80s there has been such proposals anyway it is for the matured and for people like the writter.
ReplyDeleteYea that's Ok
ReplyDeleteHmmmnnnn........its gud d Lady brings up d issue if d guy is not saying anything about it especially wen dey r very close from there d guy can carry on from there if he is interested in d lady.
ReplyDeleteBut I think its absurd if d lady does d proposal directly like a man wud do......
A man who is truly and seriously in serious relationship can never be turned off by such a question. most people say a man already know if he will be spending a life with his partner in a few seconds. and i believe that. if a man finds all he needs in a woman and the woman asks him about their future life together, he should be happy and willing to pop the question seeing that they are both on the same page.
ReplyDeletepersonally i have been in a relationship where i have asked a man about our future togehter. like pastor said, its better to avoid the heart break and emotional roller coaster when there wont be a future with the person you are with and truthfully it saves time and gives one the opportunity to re-evaluate and find themselves
Yeparipa, so Pastor Adeyemi wants to tell us that ladies have not since been proposing, ah...... they have been proposing even begging to be taken big time !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI believe a sincere love from the heart is bound to be receprocal. On the pastor's point of view, I personally see nothing bad in it. If we will be honest with ourselves, many marriages that would have been productive where did not come due pretence. Marriage I believe is divinelly match from God if only we allow the holy spirit diection and approval or vis-a-vis.
ReplyDelete