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MUST READ: Why can’t he just be like everyone else? - Chimamanda Adichie



I will call him Sochukwuma. A thin, smiling boy who liked to play with us girls at the university primary school in Nsukka. We were young. We knew he was different, we said, ‘he’s not like the other boys.’ But his was a benign and unquestioned difference; it was simply what it was. We did not have a name for him. We did not know the word ‘gay.’ He was Sochukwuma and he was friendly and he played oga so well that his side always won.



In secondary school, some boys in his class tried to throw Sochukwuma off a second floor balcony. They were strapping teenagers who had learned to notice, and fear, difference. They had a name for him. Homo. They mocked him because his hips swayed when he walked and his hands fluttered when he spoke. He brushed away their taunts, silently, sometimes grinning an uncomfortable grin. He must have wished that he could be what they wanted him to be. I imagine now how helplessly lonely he must have felt. The boys often asked, “Why can’t he just be like everyone else?”

Possible answers to that question include ‘because he is abnormal,’ ‘because he is a sinner, ‘because he chose the lifestyle.’ But the truest answer is ‘We don’t know.’ There is humility and humanity in accepting that there are things we simply don’t know. At the age of 8, Sochukwuma was obviously different. It was not about sex, because it could not possibly have been – his hormones were of course not yet fully formed – but it was an awareness of himself, and other children’s awareness of him, as different. He could not have ‘chosen the lifestyle’ because he was too young to do so. And why would he – or anybody – choose to be homosexual in a world that makes life so difficult for homosexuals?


The new law that criminalizes homosexuality is popular among Nigerians. But it shows a failure of our democracy, because the mark of a true democracy is not in the rule of its majority but in the protection of its minority – otherwise mob justice would be considered democratic. The law is also unconstitutional, ambiguous, and a strange priority in a country with so many real problems. Above all else, however, it is unjust. Even if this was not a country of abysmal electricity supply where university graduates are barely literate and people die of easily-treatable causes and Boko Haram commits casual mass murders, this law would still be unjust. We cannot be a just society unless we are able to accommodate benign difference, accept benign difference, live and let live. We may not understand homosexuality, we may find it personally abhorrent but our response cannot be to criminalize it.

A crime is a crime for a reason. A crime has victims. A crime harms society. On what basis is homosexuality a crime? Adults do no harm to society in how they love and whom they love. This is a law that will not prevent crime, but will, instead, lead to crimes of violence: there are already, in different parts of Nigeria, attacks on people ‘suspected’ of being gay. Ours is a society where men are openly affectionate with one another. Men hold hands. Men hug each other. Shall we now arrest friends who share a hotel room, or who walk side by side? How do we determine the clunky expressions in the law – ‘mutually beneficial,’ ‘directly or indirectly?’

Chimamanda Adichie
Many Nigerians support the law because they believe the Bible condemns homosexuality. The Bible can be a basis for how we choose to live our personal lives, but it cannot be a basis for the laws we pass, not only because the holy books of different religions do not have equal significance for all Nigerians but also because the holy books are read differently by different people. The Bible, for example, also condemns fornication and adultery and divorce, but they are not crimes.

For supporters of the law, there seems to be something about homosexuality that sets it apart. A sense that it is not ‘normal.’ If we are part of a majority group, we tend to think others in minority groups are abnormal, not because they have done anything wrong, but because we have defined normal to be what we are and since they are not like us, then they are abnormal. Supporters of the law want a certain semblance of human homogeneity. But we cannot legislate into existence a world that does not exist: the truth of our human condition is that we are a diverse, multi-faceted species. The measure of our humanity lies, in part, in how we think of those different from us. We cannot – should not – have empathy only for people who are like us.

Some supporters of the law have asked – what is next, a marriage between a man and a dog?’ Or ‘have you seen animals being gay?’ (Actually, studies show that there is homosexual behavior in many species of animals.) But, quite simply, people are not dogs, and to accept the premise – that a homosexual is comparable to an animal – is inhumane. We cannot reduce the humanity of our fellow men and women because of how and who they love. Some animals eat their own kind, others desert their young. Shall we follow those examples, too?

Other supporters suggest that gay men sexually abuse little boys. But pedophilia and homosexuality are two very different things. There are men who abuse little girls, and women who abuse little boys, and we do not presume that they do it because they are heterosexuals. Child molestation is an ugly crime that is committed by both straight and gay adults (this is why it is a crime: children, by virtue of being non-adults, require protection and are unable to give sexual consent).

There has also been some nationalist posturing among supporters of the law. Homosexuality is ‘unafrican,’ they say, and we will not become like the west. The west is not exactly a homosexual haven; acts of discrimination against homosexuals are not uncommon in the US and Europe. But it is the idea of ‘unafricanness’ that is truly insidious. Sochukwuma was born of Igbo parents and had Igbo grandparents and Igbo great-grandparents. He was born a person who would romantically love other men. Many Nigerians know somebody like him. The boy who behaved like a girl. The girl who behaved like a boy. The effeminate man. The unusual woman. These were people we knew, people like us, born and raised on African soil. How then are they ‘unafrican?’

If anything, it is the passage of the law itself that is ‘unafrican.’ It goes against the values of tolerance and ‘live and let live’ that are part of many African cultures. (In 1970s Igboland, Area Scatter was a popular musician, a man who dressed like a woman, wore makeup, plaited his hair. We don’t know if he was gay – I think he was – but if he performed today, he could conceivably be sentenced to fourteen years in prison. For being who he is.) And it is informed not by a home-grown debate but by a cynically borrowed one: we turned on CNN and heard western countries debating ‘same sex marriage’ and we decided that we, too, would pass a law banning same sex marriage. Where, in Nigeria, whose constitution defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, has any homosexual asked for same-sex marriage?

This is an unjust law. It should be repealed. Throughout history, many inhumane laws have been passed, and have subsequently been repealed. Barack Obama, for example, would not be here today had his parents obeyed American laws that criminalized marriage between blacks and whites.

An acquaintance recently asked me, ‘if you support gays, how would you have been born?’ Of course, there were gay Nigerians when I was conceived. Gay people have existed as long as humans have existed. They have always been a small percentage of the human population. We don’t know why. What matters is this: Sochukwuma is a Nigerian and his existence is not a crime.
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33 comments

  1. As a western-backed author, I really think you have misfired this time. Kindly go back to your paymasters and tell them that this your 'medicine' cannot sell here in Nigeria.

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  2. Over misfire. Chimamanda or what ever u call yourself, this commodity that the west gave to you will not sell in nijer. Better go back and tell them.

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  3. What will Jesus do if he catches an homosexual in d very act? am sure he will only tell him/her to GO & SIN NO MORE... in dis dispensation, God wants us to obey him willingly and not because there is a national law enforcing people to do what is right.

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  4. If u re a gay,tell us so we give u 14yrs,hw can a true ibo pikin like u write dis trash.GAY is a crime as far as am concern cos dey rape n convince pple 2 b gays.Chinanamda,pls will u like ur child 2 marry same sex?or better start wit ursef by marring a fellow woman.as writers said,u drug 2 convince us is expired

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  5. A very sound submission here. With time, Nigeria will regret passing the law. UK has realized it and decriminalize their anti gay law.

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  6. Chimma, I'm sorry. I use to appreciate u but now I know u r insane. How dare u question the holy books? I can see u r on d path to HELL. Repent before its 2 late.

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  7. Why is this gay law such a priority above all the bad things going on in Nigeria?

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  8. Your corrupt knowledge on homosexuality can never appeal to us a nation with strong culture. Whatsoever is a problem in Nigeria has external influence. Boko Haram and Militants are armed by western world who make and sell weapons to them; yet they hypocritically claim to fight terrorism. If we have decayed infrastructures its becos the stolen money to develop Nigeria are safely kept in western Banks who are their collaborators. Chimamanda know it today that the west you identify with is the cause of Nigerias woes. We will not embrace anti human culture. No matter what. The US has succeeded in using you to your on disrepute. You have lost the respect we have for you; very soon you will support bestiality.wake up!!!

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  9. hahaha...chichi to be frank and to face the laws you are not far from the truth but you have to understand something. take away bible from this. Gay supporters have all the law and support to win the case else where but not in nigeria. with these reason.
    1.constitution
    2.constitution
    3.constitution
    number 1. constitution
    our constitution defined democracy is another dimension which is deffrent from american democracy. thus we practice "Democrazy" and not democracy as americans defines. FROM CHAPTER ONE.,SECTION13 AND THE SUB SECTIONS.you will see all our fundamental objectives which is defferent from americans. ifyou are saying that thewhole democratic country should adopt the same constitution. then anti gay law is bad. Go through our constitution as regards to fundamental human right and compare it with americans. they are entirly diffrent thing. thank you for such philosophical argument. it shows your being biase.

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  10. My sister , you are loosing our followership with this comments. We no go greee. Or are you one of them?

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  11. Homosexuality is not from God, God doesn't make people gay. Homosexuality is caused by deep rooted demonic possession and oppression causing sexual perversion and immorality. There is usually a point of entry or a cause of this. Some could be due child abuse by a homosexual where demonic transference takes place, others could be due to ancestral sacrifices giving demons rights over an individual, and others could be sexual encounters/experimenting leading to the demonic bondage. Whatever the case maybe demons are behind it.
    Those feelings of lust and inappropriate and unnatural desires are at their core evil, and not entirely your thoughts but the devil's and demons.
    The way out is deliverance from demonic oppression. The devil today has changed his tactics and would rather remain stealthily unnoticed while silently destroying your spiritual life.
    If you want to follow Christ truly then do so wholly, don't be selective in scripture, ignoring completely the parts that speak against homosexuality. In the old and new testament homosexuality is sin. God specifically refers to homosexuality as 'wickedness' in the old testament, the punishment for which was death. Now tell me why this was so, and did God later change his mind?
    Of course we now live in a period of grace, Christ's message is love, but not sexual love and most certainly not the love between people of the same sex.
    The reason why you feel guilt is the fact that homosexuality is the most unnatural thing to man. Most so called gay Christians look for validation and justification for their sinful life styles by mis-interpreting scripture to support their life style.
    Biologically speaking alone it just doesn't make sense for two people of the same sex to even have sex! A man and a man, and a woman and a woman, the organs don't even match. Not even animals do that.
    But here is the good part, it is not too late so long as there is life. You still have a chance to be delivered through Jesus Christ, and live a life free from sexual perversion. God truly loves you even in your present condition that is His abundant grace upon you, and He has made every provision for you to live a life free from demonic oppression; you have power in the name of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit! Exercise this power today!
    God doesn't hate you, he loves you, but if you were to die this very moment as a homosexual, would you make heaven?
    Don't be deceived by the tricks of the god of this world that 'its okay to be gay', or 'its natural' and 'genetically proven', or 'its your right', 'people should be allowed to love who they want' and all those other false teachings that only serve to derail you from true fellowship with God. I personally am not in support of people that hate homosexuals, and carry out hate crimes against them, because how then would they show you the love of Christ. I advocate 'hate the life style but not the individual', for the life style is simply rebellion against God!
    We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory God, no man is perfect, but His grace abounds. However this is not a license to live as you do.
    I pray that all who would take time to read this would not be offended but see the truth for what it is.
    Highly recommended website links


    http://bible-truth.org/Homosexuality.html

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    Replies
    1. I really enjoyed your contribution. You put your ideas out in a very knowledgable manner, backed with examples and proofs. Unlike others, you did not just write with bias or out of mere anger. Most importantly, is your knowledge and usage of grammar. I raise my hat.
      It feels really good to know some Nigerians still care to learn and improve their English.
      Bravo

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    2. Alan, I interpret your last line as an afront and insult on the intellect of Nigerians. Agreed that Ms Adichie (the new world gay right activist - African Region, and Nigerian Coordinator) good in literature, she is not the brightest girl in Nigeria, and to say what you just said in your last line directly implies that every individuals of other countries or your country learn to improve their English. Speaking English is not a criterion for living, else the Chinese population should be less than a million by now. You may applaud her writing skills, but do not insult our sensibilities.

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    3. Dear Gordins, You are totally oblivious of Alan's message. Infact, the statement in contention actually refers to you.

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  12. This girl must be crazy oh .... Homosexual is never our culture , look we African's we have our own culture . lets leave Bible out of this . the westerners that is American and co has their own culture they can never force us to leave our own culture and follow there own . for God sake Chimamanda i knew quit well you were not the person who wrote this , but who ever that wrote it for u should know that this is God's world .

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  13. chi come make i fuck u i promise u wl enjoy me,so pls 4get homosexualism abeg u

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  14. God destroyed sodom and gomora because of their Gay practice. Be wise.

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  15. Was enjoying her side of the story until she used her hand to shoot her self with the unanswered question- where her (chimanda) gay?, secondly the person that gave birth to her self proclaimed sochukwuma obviously were not gay and lastly will Chimanda be satisfied if all humans become gay (God forbid!) Being gay is CHRONIC SELFISHNESS

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  16. I won't be surprised if she wins another nonsense prize in Europe and America because he is doing what her pair masters and colonial masters wan her to do. I am beginning to loose confidence in some of these so called writers. The question one has to ask this girl playing to the gallery is- Could Chinua Achebe, Camera Laye, Peter Abrahams, Nkem Nwankwo have written this? Na Over sabi and playing to the gallery de kill some.How can a true daughter of Igbo want to support gay and lesbian right. In fact, I suspect this girl may be lesbian. So She better go to America or Europe to find fellow woman to marry. It is said that pride comes before fall.

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  17. Am honestly dissapointed at dis lady's submission, i was so irritated dat i couldn't get myself to finish reading it. But it surprises me y pple keep saying we have pressing issues in nigeria dat requires urgency. Are dey trying to tell us dat the varous sectors in nigeria can not handle n resolve problems effectively? Or are they saying dat we are very stupid in nigeria dat we cannot handle multiple problems at once? If dis bill was signed a long time ago, d population of gays wouldn't have gotten to dis point. I just hope she reaslises wat she is saying cos sodom n gomorah in d bible was destroyed bcos of dis act. If d western say dere is no God, would we b foolish to accept dat?

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  18. I'm sure you must have read it somewhere in your bible that God made them male and female what purpose does this stand for? Get it right into your skull God is not the author of confusion, for 99.9% of Nigerians say CAPITAL "NO" to your stupid explanations.

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  19. For this write up, my respect for you has reduced.you still have the opportunity to redeem your image by returning their money and retracting this rubish before it becomes too late for you.

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  20. Poor Amanda, lost in the thick forest of retarding Western moral believes, I see you from now on as an American woman, not African - because there is nothing African in this self-sell-out memoir of yours on gay promo. I suggest you sign a deal to openly hang out with other ladies on CNN, probably in a scene where Amanda is kissing and being kissed by an African and a Eruropean women.

    You just sold out, probably this is no good area you can win awards of literature, especially that from an African perspective. How many Sochukwuma do you know, all this long? You did not categorically tell us if you are straight or gay. Are you gay? Please your Purple Hisbiscus and Half of a Yellow Moon will surely loose sales arsing from this your poorly thought (maybe sold to you sha) promo on gay rights.

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  21. It was not so in the beginning. Satan is still deceiving people till today. What is bad is bad.God is listening and watching us.

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  22. Amanda, You spoke like fool, idiot,no wonder, while the whole was hailing you i personally was not touched, never knew it was because your just a fool. onisekuse.

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  23. using Sochukwuma as a instance of someone with homosexual tendencies doesn't hold water at all. Get it right Amanda, there is a difference between trans-sexuality anf homosexuality.

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  24. Sincerely i think d lady has lost her mind. Why don't u come back to your fathers compound in the village and organised a crusade on gas rights. You r a shame to African womanhood. If u ever marry a man may that union remain cursed forever encouraging other people's children to go gay. Young Nigerians had always looked up to you. Is this the legacy you want to be remembered for?

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  25. It is obvious from the comments that follow this article that the reasoning projected by the writer is above the intellectual capacity of an average Nigerian. They can't comprehend. I believe Chimamanda didn't write this article for the average Nigerian.

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  26. I had admired U in d past but not anymore. It is really sad reading a write up from you. You have really betrayed our confidence. Adieu Chimamanda!

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  27. Very, very brave article, Ms. Adichie. The comments here, however, are making me sad. Jesus spoke not one single word against homosexuality! With all the hatred and brutality in the world, do we really believe that He's obsessing on people who love one another "the wrong way"???

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  28. Ha.... Ngozi Adichie,is this what America has done to you?? what a pity

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  29. Hi Chimamanda,
    Very well constructed article and quite revealing as to the struggles of 'gays' world over. I'll now go straight to my comments.
    Your misrepresentation of Sochukwuma as a gay leaves a lot of unanswered questions. From your article, being effeminate implies being homosexual but we all know this isn't true. I grew up with friends who acted girly but grew up liking girls. Abusing people for their differences isn't right and I wouldn't stand for it either. But neither is assuming that just because one acts effeminate he or she must be homosexual is misleading even for our youth.
    As for laws, let me take you to the concept of prostitution. Two adults decide to have sex in exchange for money. Ordinarily this shouldn't have any effect on society but would you love to see it legalized? I believe you should center your focus on the penalty and method for prosecuting gays (they could be decided to undergo psychiatric eval for instance). Personally, if two adults decide they want to practice homosexual acts, they can live with the consequences but indulging the act has ramifications for our society as a whole. By the way it will be nice to see these naturally bred animals who are homosexual. Can't imagine any farmer having much use for a homosexual chicken, cow, goat etc.

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  30. Hi Chimamanda,

    Without taking sides, I think the arguments you put forward are a bit feeble. Despite my acceptance that Nigeria has other priorities, you need to rethink some of the issues below;

    1. Being effeminate does not imply being homosexual
    2. No country practises absolute democracy even the US and UK.
    3. Freedom at its best is subjective and is tampered by culture.
    4. Hasty conclusion

    Finally, be mindful of your audience; sensitive issues should be approached carefully and with maturity, Achebe will be smiling wherever he is.

    Cheers.

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