Chike Okoye is a Nigerian student based
in the United States of America. He works part time to keep up his
college fee payments and sends money home regularly through the Western
Union to support his ailing father, Chief Okoye, and his siblings. Chief
Okoye had a stroke three years ago, which left him severely
incapacitated. He had no medical insurance in place, and very few
relations or friends were in a position to, or were inclined to assist
with the nursing care, physiotherapy and medication required; this took a
huge toll on the family finances.
In October last year, Chief Okoye died.
Chike, his eldest son was expected to travel home to take charge of
burial arrangements. As his father was titled, expectations were high
for a lavish funeral. The family house was in a state of disrepair and
badly in need of refurbishment. A team of painters and builders was
dispatched to ‘touch up’ the compound, install air conditioning units, a
generator and spruce up the place just to keep up appearances. Chief
Okoye’s remains were kept in the mortuary for three months, at a
significant cost while arrangements were being made.
“Well-wishers” expected to be fed for
several weeks prior to the funeral and beyond reported daily as early as
7am. Some “elders” even suggested that the cow Chike bought was too
small and that the portions being served would never go round. Large
colourful posters announced the passing of “a rare gem” and friends and
associates placed expensive obituaries and goodwill messages in the
print and electronic media to show association and sympathy.
Sadly, by the time Chike returned to the
US after the ceremonies were over, his finances were badly depleted
that he had to withdraw from college and secure a full-time job to build
up resources to be able to continue his education.
Funeral traditions vary in Nigeria
according to the community. For example, in some parts of the
South-South and South-East, a whole week is set aside. The body lies in
state in an elaborately decorated chamber and direct descendants of the
deceased are dressed in expensive ceremonial garments. Family “uniforms”
are made available at a cost for immediate and extended family and
friends to show a sense of community and belonging.
Guests turn out in large numbers for the
duration of the festivities and are fed and entertained. They are
usually grouped in specially designated areas reserved for in-laws,
classmates, club members, friends, business associates and members of
the extended family. Buses may be chartered to transport some of the
guests back to their destinations. Family members gather again on the
7th or 40th day and again a year later for yet another celebration to
mark the anniversary.
Some people feel pressured to sell
valuable assets, including shares and family land to give a ‘befitting
burial’ to loved ones. The ceremony is expected to display as much pomp
and pageantry as a carnival. Critics assess the funerals and those who
do not meet up to expectation are viewed with a level of scorn. There is
also a form of extortion; there are tales of the coffin disappearing on
the morning of the funeral only to reappear after a tidy sum has been
paid.
Sometimes the corpse may be kept in the
mortuary for an extended period at exorbitant cost while elaborate
arrangements are underway or until close relations are able to agree on a
convenient date for all to attend the funeral. Mortuary costs continue
to mount after several date changes occasioned by disagreements. For
those with titles, ceremonies can drag on for a very long time.
One must not lose sight of the
distressed and distracted descendants trying to focus on the work as the
D-day looms, as well as the lost man-hours of absence from work for
extended periods.
An Anglican Bishop in Uganda once caused
a stir when at a funeral he publicly denounced the practice, saying it
was “a form of corruption that impoverishes bereaved families,” leaving
them indebted for years as they strive to meet up with societal
expectations. At that funeral, the son of a poor widow was forced to
slaughter the family’s only milk cow in order to feed teeming crowds at
her funeral.
In Nigeria, the Anglican Communion and
the Catholic Diocese have played a significant role in trying to
encourage moderation and curb some of the excesses to drive much needed
change in our society. In some areas, the dead must be buried within two
weeks otherwise the church will not be involved in the funeral rites.
There is a lesson to be learned from the Moslem faith, where the dead
are buried swiftly and ceremonies are usually completed with relative
simplicity.
Death continues to be an extremely
sensitive subject and we seldom discuss our mortality. If you wish to be
buried like royalty, pre-plan your funeral and set aside funds
specifically for the event so that loved ones are not further burdened
with a myriad of financial and other decisions at an already awful time.
In a funeral plan, you can incorporate
all your specific wishes; as regards where you wish to be buried, the
preferred type of funeral service and rites, music, flowers, mortuary,
casket, entertainment, clothing, and most importantly, funding,
including a spending limit. The plan should be revealed to a confidant
that is in a position to implement it.
Funerals often take place in villages
that lack even the most basic infrastructure; clean water, proper
sanitation, basic health care, schools, electricity and roads. The
contrast becomes all the more glaring when for the duration of the
obsequies, the quiet simplicity of a sleepy village is transformed and
bursting with the activity and opulence of the funeral ceremonies, which
take place in an environment of extreme poverty and lack.
By ’Nimi Akinkugbe
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As rightly mentioned, in Islam, its very simple. No matter ur stance in d community, u r buried dsame way a pauper is, because we r dsame in Gods sight, except for ur level of piety. Thus, d bereaved have enough for inheritance, I.e. Something for them to fall back on. Besides, ve u noticed how d body becomes VERY ugly after d stay in mortuary? I wouldn't want to ve a memory of my loved one in dt ugly n deformed state!!
ReplyDeleteIn d Islamic tradition, its d visiting guests that bring food for d bereaved because its believed dt dy r so saddened by d loss dt dy might not b able to even cook, let alone eat. So, friends n family bring large amts of food n drinks for both d bereaved n guests. For d bereaved, its to persuade them to eat after d loss. While for d guests, its referred to as "sadaka" (charity), on behalf of d dead. So, if u truly wish d dead well, u eat from d food no matter how small, wishing God to pay him (d dead), wit paradise, for d food.
ReplyDeleteBt nowadays, even d parties n pageantries r slowly creeping into d muslim burials. This attitude needs to b curbed.
ReplyDeleteEvery1 is saddened by d death of a loved one. Bt d thot of this burial wahala gives sm of us heart attack sef.
ReplyDeleteMr Nimi, well spoken. What does d bible say abt burying d dead? Pls can sm1 tell me? We claim to be following Gods words, bt we r selective on what to do. Which shd b our priority as christains? Gods words or d traditions of idol worshippers? How then do we make heaven when we choose what to practise?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteD dead need prayers for Gods mercies more than huge reckless parties. Dts d love we can shower on d dead.
ReplyDeleteJust want to coRrect the statement, ".........the dead need prayers for God's mercies......" There is actually no amount of prayer we can say for a person once the person is dead. Inotherwords, praying for the dead for God's mercies is purely a USELESS exercise. Your fate after death would only be determined by how u spent ur life when u had the chance. In conclusion, those who really need the prayer is the family the dead left behind. A good morning to all!
ReplyDeleteThis burial stuff is nt christainity, Mr Abara. Its purely tradition of our fore fathers. We just need to revisit d bible n study it deeper regarding what it says on burial. N its our duty as christains to follow in the steps of christ n not sm idol worshippers under d guise of teadition.
ReplyDeleteThis burial rites has nothing to do with God but gods cuz its a traditional thing most times. The family heads just impose levies on the bereaved family, like when my dad left they imposed goats and wrappers on my sisters who were students and not married but we that married they imposed cows, goat and wrappers. Till date my old mum is still paying burial debts,and those wicked family heads have never cared to find out how she is faring, its all rubbish
ReplyDeleteOne of the duties Religion performs socially is to resist the proliferation of certain social ills. I indicated an affiliation of this ill to religion because,I don't expect any religion to assist in funerals where this type of financial burden is imposed on people. I'd like you all to tell me that it's not true that churches demand financial obligations of the dead be offset b4 they assist in their burial. We must come out to reject this inhumanity to man by man. We don't dispute the fact that tradition demand these conditions most times,but we are aware that the church took responsibility of sanitizing our cultural values since they came. They have made efforts in other directions. How come this particular aspect has not been seriously taken? Churches must refuse to participate in flamboyant funerals as their own effort to discourage it,or expect to be counted as accomplices when issues like this are discussed......Chris Abara
ReplyDeleteI live in an area dominated by Muslims. I observe them over various issues. They may be found erring in certain other aspects of religion,but in that regarding death,I have found them more consistent than their counterparts. I hardly see Muslim burial rites mixed with fetish burial rites as is done amongst the christian folks. Anonymous 8.20,I believe the church probably assisted in your father's burial,how come the demand for goats & wrappers? Which indicates there were two burial rites for one person. Most of us have gone thru all these. That is why I am charging the church to take actions that will bring a positive change to this situation. Or better still,we all come out & reject openly this evil perpetrated on man by fellow men......Chris Abara
ReplyDeleteHumm Well said, anyway consider the following:
ReplyDelete1.'Coma' victims, coming back to life after 2-3 days, if buried immediately, what is their fate? 2. Those who died and were taken to Hell and Heaven e.g Sis Linda of S/Lone and many more who came back with REPORTS would have been robed of the Grace if buried earlier.
Conclusively, Extravagance in the name of befitting burial will leave the family impoverished. Oluwakemi
Oluwakemi,you have a point! Be half dead as a Muslim and you are buried ''according to Muslim rites''.Unlike christians,Muslims don't seem to believe in the miracle of raising the dead.But that dosn't justify the act of keeping the dead in the mortuary for months while the bereaved travel to and from far and near,gathering scarce resources and getting indebted all in the name of giving a befitting burial as practiced by so-called Christians.
ReplyDeleteWell,I believe there are certified medical methods of death confirmation. The issue we are discussing here is the unnecessary rigours pple have to go thru to bury their dead. Even in situations where the deceased went thru long duration of illness & exhaustive spending in attempt to stay a life,the family still have go all the way to spend more to give the corpse an acceptable burial. Some even die after doing this cos there's nothing left to survive on. Most spend the rest of their lives struggling to offset debts accrued from such burial ceremonies. We must treat this issue without BIAS & with all seriousness,because there is well assured continuity since you are expected to do so with an expectation that your children will do the same for you. That's all crap,we need to stop that....Chris Abara.
ReplyDeleteDis tradition has bn going on for ages nw and it is really killing so many pple. During my father's burial, we sold dat last piece of land my father left for us. I cannot never forget dat experience. Igbo's indulge in dis kind of flaboyant burial ceremony a lot expecially Anambra pple.
ReplyDelete